NOTE: I was away this weekend. This blog was originally written in August, 2017.
“Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give” (Matthew 10:8).
ALIENS IN PHILADELPHIA
My husband was barricaded in his hospital room at the University of Pennsylvania, threatening doctors and nurses with his IV pole.
“You’re here!” he shouted when he saw me. “I knew you would come. I told you, Diana.” He turned to the nurse that was behind him, the only medical personnel he allowed into the room. “You won’t let them steal my brain, will you?”
“No,” I said. “No one will steal your brain.”
Diana smiled weakly. “Thanks for coming so quickly.”
I shrugged. “Thanks for calling. It’s not every day I have to come save my husband from space aliens who want to do research on his brain. It’s a new journey.”
In the years since Ron became disabled and I took on the role of the Well Spouse, I had often felt I had not really packed for the journey. The words “ In sickness and in health” don’t prepare you for the possibilities of what CAN happen, such as anesethesia-induced paranoia.
THE GREAT COMMISSION
I often wonder how the Apostles of Jesus felt. The Book of Matthew relates the Great Commission which sent them out into the world. They were told not to burden themselves with luggage: no extra sandals or cloaks, no satchels, no money. They were to depend upon God for their provisions. And they were to freely give to others what had been given to them. They were not trained physicians, but they were to “heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons “ (Matthew 10:8). Surely, they must have wondered how they—mere mortal men—would be able to accomplish these things!
It’s a question I asked myself many times in my 19 year journey as the Well Spouse. I felt as unprepared as the Apostles as they set out on their missions, untrained in medicine of the mind and body. There were many times I sat alone in a hospital waiting room, just me and God, waiting to hear if Ron would live or die.
EXTRAORDINARY JOURNEYS
The twelve Jesus sent out into the world on the first mission journeys were ordinary men. Four were fishermen. Yet they spread the Gospel throughout the known world and, even though it was illegal to become a Christian, many accepted Jesus as Savior. While the Apostles may have felt inadequate to the task, God gave them the power and the courage they needed.
The journey of a Well Spouse also takes a lot of courage.
After the effects of the anesthesia from the previous day’s surgery wore off, Ron was peaceful, nodding off to sleep in his hospital bed. No more space aliens threatened his existence. His brain was safe for now. I sat next to his hospital bed, calmly knitting a prayer shawl for a friend when Dr. Inger quietly entered the room and checked Ron’s vitals.
“He’s doing okay,” the doctor said. “How about you?”
I gave a shrug. “Just another day. I’m used to it all.”
He nodded. “You’ve been married, what, 25 years?”
“Thirty.”
“Hmmm.” He took a chair from the corner and straddled it. “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”
I shook my head. “Go ahead.”
“How do you do it? How do you stay with him? Why don’t you just walk away?”
And so I told the good doctor that my vows had been sacred ones. The road had been long and hard, but that did not mean giving up. Whenever I felt inadequate for the journey, whenever I felt as if I had packed the wrong things and just did not have what it would take to move one step further, God gave me what I needed.
“I think,” said Dr. Inger, “I need to study this some more. You’re a strong woman.”
I shook my head. “No,” I said. “I serve a strong God.”
A NEW JOURNEY
My husband’s journey ended in 2019 when he went Home to be with Jesus. I started on a new journey as I learned to walk the widow’s path and care for my autistic adult son.
And like the Apostles, I’ve packed light, counting on God to supply whatever I need.
Where does your journey take you? To hospitals? To prisons? To stores? To your own neighborhood?
What do you need to pack?
